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ReviewReviewReviewReviewReviewDo you understand 功夫之王 ?Apr 22, '08 6:35 AM
for everyone
Category:Movies
Genre: Action & Adventure

Do you understand 功夫之王? I didn't, yesterday.

But I do now. It's Chinese for "Forbidden Kingdom" now showing worldwide, including in the quaint little kingdom where I'm now aliping mamamahay. Oh yeah, the movie stars Jackie Chan and Jet Li. The two guys were enough reasons why I went to watch the movie.

Jackie Chan and Jet Li in one movie? "Are you kidding me?!", I said to myself the first time I saw its trailer on TV. "How could it be? How would the story go? Who would get a more Superstar billing?"

So okay, I went out of the house and went to watch the movie alone. I had big expectations for a movie starring Jackie Chan, my martial arts hero when I was a kid and Jet Li, my martial arts hero when I was an adult. I go, "WOW", how would I react to see these two icons in the big screen?

Then the movie began as I gnawed on my cuticles in excited anticipation of the two giants before I could start my late lunch of siopao.

Then the movie started with a fine martial arts print that I thought Ang Lee could only direct. But I reminded myself that it was an American, Rob Minkoff, who directed the movie. And I'm sure I saw Jet Li mimicking Captain Jack Sparrow's cute and gayish little antics to cute effects. And Jet Li was great that would give Johnny Depp some giggles. So I go, "okay", this is shaping up nice.

Then cut for the opening credits. While the names rolled, a montage of Bruce Lee was shown. And I go, "nice touch". Here was a movie of today's two greatest martial artists and they put the legendary Bruce Lee on the shadows looming amongst them as if to remind them that "hey guys, I paved your way nicely so your kind or martial arts would have a worldwide acceptance". Bravo Bruce. Nice one.

Then a teenaged martial arts crazed American boy appeared whom I thought was Shia LaBeouf. I go, "Is this the martial arts sequel to "Transformers""? Then the mala-LaBeouf character ran into an old Chinaman whom I was sure was Jackie Chan. Thought Eddie Murphy morphing himself to another character. And Jackie delivered the old man role to great effect. Vintage Chan. Good so far.

Then suddenly, "West Side Story" came into view when a group of teen-aged thugs appeared to challenge the mala-LaBeouf guy. They dished out a gangsta episode that brought the mala-LaBeouf guy into ancient China. This time, I thought the movie changed Directors, and the new guy at the helm was Filipino of the "Encantadia" variety.

While the plot moved to ancient Encantadia China, the "Drunken Master" Jackie Chan appeared. I was already jumping up and down my seat with glee, except that I only imagined I was jumping up and down, like I was a little boy again. Then to my delight, Chan made a review of related martial arts literature. He parodied the trademark moves to which martial arts became popular worldwide like oxygen, with the likes of "tiger", "snake", "eagle" and a new one was introduced via the "praying mantis" with great comic relief. Again, vintage Chan.

The theater crowd hollered. I thought all of those inside grew up watching "Snake in the Eagle's Shadow" and "Fearless Hyena", except that there were four little boys infront of my row giggling and really jumping on their seats. I thought yeah, they are now starting and making their love affair with martial arts. But this time these kids' brand is tatak Hollywood as opposed to my childhood martial arts love affair that was purely tatak HK, Taiwan or from mainland China.

I thought the movie was made for people to laugh. Trademark Jackie Chan. At this point, I forgot I was holding a big bag of Nagaraya, to where I went back to crackin and muchin after the people inside the theater simmered down.

Then Jet Li appeared. And the movie immediately gained a serious mood. Yeah, Jet Li sans wig, make-up and elaborate costume now gaining control of the movie with his somber and serious martial arts.

Then I almost peed in my pants I wanted to holler "YEAH!!!" and do sommersaults! The unthinkable happened! Jet Li and Jackie Chan did a martial arts fight sequence!!! I wanted to run back to the ticket booth and pay the lady P300 pesos more for this delight. Whoa. That was more than what I paid for. Then I made a mental note, "must.buy.forbiddenkingdom.dvd...pirated" so I could watch this again. Haha

Then Jet Li was eaten by the humour of Jackie Chan and both guys became comics. One particular episode when both Li and Chan were laughing at the mala-LaBeouf guy's character and Li whispered to Chan saying "but he's not even Chinese!". Then both went back to the boy and laughed their whole bodies out at the teenage American for "not even being Chinese on a martial arts movie". I soo got the insult or ridicule or sige na nga, metaphor na lang, and laughed too much with Li and Chan, louder than everyone else in the theater. And I remembered, I was alone, to which I laughed even more.

I didn't know how long the movie was. I just enjoyed it.

But then I realized my expectation before the movie started. It was high. And on retrospect, I thought that "Forbidden Kingdom", a movie with Jet Li and Jackie Chan, didn't really reach my expectation befitting the superstar stature of the two.

I mean, look at "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", it was made in superlative acting, cinematography, story and wisdom. This 功夫之王 did not. It only had the comic relief. Then there was the tiny bit of discomfort when Chan was giving words of advice to the mala-LaBeof guy, which I think Chan really fell flat. Chan should stick to humour and leave the wisdom-dispenser to Jet Li who plays it better.

I thought that a movie with two living legends (naks, parang si Jawo), should fack my brains out. This 功夫之王 did not. Again, look at Travolta and Cage in "Face/Off". That movie really faced off the two great actors Travolta and Cage. (Para bang si Erap at FPJ in one movie directed by Carlo J. Caparas, haha.)

And then I remembered that John Woo, a Chinese, directed "Face/Off". So I go, why didn't the Producers let either Ang Lee or John Woo (or Carlo J Caparas, bwahaha) direct 功夫之王? I didn't care to research why.

If this movie was not peppered with humour, I'd say this would pale in comparison with "House of Flying Daggers', "Hero" and yeah, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon". Other than the fight scenes, this movie as a whole did not make an extra punch.

And I should indulge myself to say that I missed Zhang Ziyi in this one. I've been used to seeing her in every big Chinese movies of late. But then, the main girl on 功夫之王 was also a babe, though lacking in intensity that Ziyi exudes. The 功夫之王 girl had reminiscent scenes with the mala-LaBeouf guy like the budding teenage romance in "Transformers". So I smell a love story brewing in its next installment. I am sure there will be a Part II, especially since this movie made a killing in the North American box office landing Number 1 in its first weekend ending last Sunday.

When Part II gets shown, I would still watch it and prepare myself to be entertained. Perhaps it will be entitled "More Forbidden Kingdoms", haha.

--
The 功夫之王 main female protagonist's (the babe) screen name is Liu Yi Fei.
The mala-LaBeouf guy's screen name is Michael Angarano, and "Jason" in the movie.


ReviewTransformersJun 28, '07 12:26 PM
for everyone
Category:Movies
Genre: Action & Adventure
DAMN.
I wrote some review (sans spoilers) of TRANSFORMERS and I saved it to drafts to do minor editing and went out for some cig. When I went back, the site was already on the homepage. I scrambled to look for it as "draft" but I couldn't the fuck find it. ANYWHERE. It was tedious making a review with pictures and all just to be lost. The fuck. My review was transformed to fuckin nuthin. Demn.

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